I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He shit in the fireplace
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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