I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
