his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Such a big mess for such a small penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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