I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
