she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it's like iHOP with fire
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
