My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
