Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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