And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
