If i come over, it means nothing
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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