One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
