youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
