Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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