worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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