Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
