no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
