wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
