He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
