i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
