I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize