I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
