Plan B is the new Plan A
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
