they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
