hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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