He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize