Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have aggressive nipples.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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