There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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