Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We are all done wearing pants today
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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