Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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