so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
