I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
