All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
