he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
