I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
