3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
