my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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