well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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