marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
