If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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