I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
