I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize