just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
