How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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