I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
