Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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