its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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