what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
