I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
