i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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