perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
