her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
