sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
