Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
