i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Houston, we have a squirter
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
