If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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