Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Moan for me like Helen Keller
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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