There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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