I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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