I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
