you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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