dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
