Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
