It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize