We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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