Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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