just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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