Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize