I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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