I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
