Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
