The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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