WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
