Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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