So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
