If i come over, it means nothing
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
