Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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