Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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