I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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