New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize